Getting Over A Broken Heart

Break-ups do a number on the self. It’s like taking a tree branch and snapping it in two: the “me” that you were is no longer whole: It’s splintered, painful, and in need of healing. How do

you move from the sting that comes from the loss of a relationship to a healthy and happy self?

Research in the field of relationship science offers these 5 suggestions:

  1. Rebuild the Self.

    Evidence suggests that love facilitates self-growth, expanding and diversifying who you are (Aron & Aron, 1997). As you spend time together, the lines between you and your partner become blurred; your self-concept and partner-concept become inextricably intertwined. So it’s no surprise that when a relationship ends, people experience self-confusion (Slotter, Gardner, & Finkel, 2010) and self-contraction (Lewandowski, Aron, Bassis, & Kunak, 2006). Your sense of self actually shrinks. You might feel lost and unsure of who you are. The remedy? Start rebuilding. Rebuilding requires redefinition. It’s time to try new things and spend time with new people. Pursue the benefits of self-concept rediscovery. Evidence suggests that individuals who do not make progress on redefining and rediscovering themselves experience poorer psychological well-being and post-break up adjustment on a week-to-week basis (Mason, Law, Bryan, Portley, & Sbarra, 2012). One of the most important actions you can take to heal post-break up is to expose yourself to new people, challenges, and experiences.
     

  2. Break the Ties.

    As hard as it might be, breaking up by actually breaking up may help post-relationship adjustment. Maintaining contact with a new ex-partner delays sadness recovery and slows the (necessary) decline in love (Sbarra & Emery, 2005). Perhaps attempts to rediscover and rebuild the self are stymied when a former partner is still actively part of one’s life.
     

  3. Try Exercise.

    Stressful life events, like a break-up, produce a variety of depressive-like symptoms that can be difficult to manage. Evidence suggests that physical exercise can serve as an effective intervention, disrupting the link between such stressful life events and their potential consequences (e.g., mood problems, sleep issues, difficulty concentrating; O’Dougherty, Hearst, Syed, Kurzer, & Schmitz, 2012). While exercise may do little to curb your feelings of stress, the physical activity may buffer your depressive symptoms—an important step towards recovery.
     

  4. Fake It.

    Feeling sad is a natural response to a break-up, and although sadness declines over time (Sbarra & Emery, 2005), sometimes you need a life. If you’re looking to boost your happiness, try faking it. Called the facial feedback hypothesis, engaging in the physical, muscular act of smiling can send signals to your brain that you are happy. In other words, even though we think our mind is in charge of our smiles, the facial behavior of smiling can actually send happy signals to your brain, potentially improving your mood.
     

  5. Rebound.

    Rebound relationships get a bad rap, but their sour reputation is not based on empirical evidence. Instead, new research suggests that starting a new relationship fairly quickly post-break can be a healthy, even long-term, solution to the challenge of break-up recovery (Brumbaugh & Fraley, 2015). People in rebound relationships see themselves as more desirable, are more “over” their ex-partners, and have greater overall well-being; indeed, less time between partners is linked to more self-esteem, less attachment anxiety, and less attachment avoidance. These findings suggest that starting something new sooner, rather than later, could be a productive next step towards a healthy and happy you.

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Tricks To A Great Sex Life

SEX!  Yes it should be fun!  It should be lively, it should be crazy, but there are secrets to making it that way other than it going borrrriiiinnnggg! 

Seriously, though, there is no secret. And there is no simple, easy answer. Having a great sex life is inextricably tied to the person with whom you want to have such life. In other words, it requires a great relationship.

Now, let me be clear: You can have great sex without having a great relationship; but that’s not what you asked me. You asked me about a great sex “life,” which to me means maintaining a certain level of desire, having that desire satisfied regularly and being glad that the person who is satisfying that desire is the same person every time.

To have a relationship like that requires work and trust. One “secret” is for couples not to take each other for granted.

Another “secret” to a great sex life is creativity. If you don’t put some effort into changing things a little, even the most sensational activities become routine and, therefore, a bit stale and boring. It is well worth the minimal effort it takes to come up with and then act on new ways to express sensuality and sexuality with your partner. That might mean bringing some sex toys into the bedroom or having sex in a different environment (the powder room during a party; the study in your home; the backyard on a dark, moonless night). It could mean reading one another poetry while naked; watching an erotic video together; or sharing or role-playing your fantasies.

A friend suggested an analogy that he thought many men could understand. “A footballer might play the same field over and over. But every time he plays, it’s different. The weather is different. The greens and the rough lie a different way.. Every time there are different challenges and different rewards. Sex should be the same.”

Beyond the sex itself, having a great sexual relationship also means talking. Lots of talking. If you have young children, carve out alone time after they’re in bed. Older children can make themselves scarce after dinner while you and your partner share your day over a final glass of wine. If you’re angry about something, tell your partner; don’t let the frustration simmer.

And be honest about what you like and don’t like about sex. Do you love to be touched in one spot but cringe when touched in another? Do you want to have sex more often? Less often? Talk about it. Last I heard, there was no such thing as a true mind reader

6 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be Friends With Your Ex

For anyone who’s ever gotten out of a serious relationship, you know that ending it isn’t the hardest part — the hardest part is knowing it’s over. Knowing that the whole relationship and every aspect of it is just gone now and after a few days, you start feeling lonely. Yeah, you have  support from the girls/hommies and yeah that guy/girl is a total jerk, but you miss that jerk. You think to yourself, I can still text him/her. He/she can still be in my life. It will be okay. No it isn’t okay! It won’t be okay! It’s not cool!

Here are 6 strong reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with your ex:

1. Missing them won’t be easier

 In fact, it will be even harder on you to see them all the time. Missing the relationship will be especially painful when you’re spending time with the person you used to have that relationship with.

2. Your relationship won’t be the same

You guys will have already been so close with each other, seeing one another as friends will be almost impossible. It’ll be like, “Do you want some salad on your rice? Speaking of salad, remember that one time you sprayed it all over my-” and then you’ll feel like crap.

3. It isn’t fair to them

Chances are, your breakup was hard on them, too. They’re going through all of the same emotions you are. I know it’s super hard, but if you care about them you won’t want them to be in pain, and pain is exactly what you’re putting them through by trying to be friends.

4. It will be harder for you both to move on

 For a while, you’ll still see them as the person you loved, and they’ll probably still see you that way. Trying to be friends, especially trying to hang out regularly, will only serve to hinder you. If you want to move on, you can’t keep up a relationship with the person you want to move on from. ‘Nuf said.

5. It’s going to suck when they move on

The moment they start talking about Nana Adwoa Whatshername (and that’s bound to happen) you’re going to feel like sh*t. There’s something about a past lover talking about their current lover that makes you insanely jealous, even if you’ve found a new lover yourself..

6. You will think about getting back together with them

Trust me, this is not a good idea. There’s a reason you broke up. I know, you want someone to call you baby and watch a romantic movie with you, and they were so cute when they did that thing with their nose. Sure there were lots of good things to remember… remember the bad parts, though Maybe you fought too much, or they weren’t open enough with you, or you weren’t open enough with them. You don’t want that again, do you? No, you don’t.

I hope these few tips help. Don’t forget to comment and share!

5 Reasons Why Women Cheat And Never Get Caught.

This is not a defense of infidelity. Nor is it an examination into the reasons men and women cheat. This is an honest assessment of why women, for the most part, are rarely caught when they do cheat.

1.Women are smarter than men.

This isn’t a patronizing statement to try and get the women on my side. The fact is when it comes to stepping out women just think about things that men don’t. Where a dude will call his boy after the fact to say “Yo, son, if anybody asks where I was last night, I was with you” a woman will have it planned out days in advance with an airtight alibi.

2. Men don’t want to know

Some of my peers mistake this for men being more “trusting” than women, a theory I don’t necessarily believe. I think it’s more a case of naivite than trust. Men are the hunters. It just doesn’t’ occur to us that our woman could possibly be cheating on us. So even if reason #1 doesn’t apply and your girl has a drunken, spontaneous fling with the DJ from the boat ride, it’s the last thing we want to comprehend. She was out with the girls and that’s all we need to know.

3. Men don’t want YOU to know

And when I say YOU, I mean the world. Even in the face of irrefutable evidence and a woman is somehow caught, a man is less likely to go public because of his pride and ego.

When a man is unhappy he cries in the dark,” says Phonte. “When a woman is unhappy, she makes a concerted effort to ensure that EVERYBODY around her is miserable.”

4. Women have more to loose                              

  Let’s face it: women are more forgiving than men. Men don’t even like the idea of their women sleeping with their friends BEFORE they’re together so God forbid they get stepped out on during the relationship. We’ll either leave or start cheating ourselves to justify it. Furthermore, if a woman steps out and becomes pregnant, far fewer men will stay with her and raise another man’s child, than the countless women who have remained in relationships with men after finding out they’ve gotten another woman pregnant. With consequences like this women typically take extra steps, precautions and are just more discerning overall with their sex partners.

5.  The Average Man Doesn’t Want The Headache Of A Married Woman

“Granted, there are some guys who don’t give a f*ck, but generally speaking? Nah.” declares Kwame. “Why? because he has no control over that situation. It’s one thing if *I’m* cheating. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what, come hell or high water, no matter how much I think I *love* this girl…..I’m not leaving home. A guy will be on that good Ray Charles: “I’m not leaving my family.” And a man will do everything in his power to keep both lives separate.

Women on the other hand can be much more emotional and allow those emotions to cloud their judgment. If I’m f*cking a married woman, who’s to say that one day she won’t break down and decide to tell her husband everything? Or have a moment in church and she decides to “give her sins to the Lord” or some dumb sh*t?

GONE IN 60 SECONDS: THE TOP 5 WAYS TO PREVENT PREMATURE EJACULATION WITHOUT MEDICATION

HOW LONG SHOULD IT TAKE?

In a study of over 1500 men, The Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that the average time between penetration and ejaculation for a premature ejaculator was 1.8 minutes, compared to 7.3 minutes for non-premature ejaculators. Another study of 500 couples across five countries measured time from penetration to ejaculation, with time to ejaculation ranging from 33 seconds to 44 minutes with the median being 5.4 minutes.


HOW TO OVERCOME PREMATURE EJACULATION

The following are the most practical ways to help reduce premature ejaculation without the use of medication or costly medical treatment.

1. PELVIC FLOOR MUSCLE TRAINING

Strengthning the pelvic muscle is one of the most effective ways to prevent the onset of premature ejaculation. The pelvic muscles, which support and help control the penis, have the ability to short circuit premature ejaculation when they are actively engaged immediately before ejaculation is allowed to occur.

For most men these muscles are weak and get weaker with age, increasing the likelihood of premature ejaculation. A recent study found pelvic muscle exercise to be more effective than medication in treating premature ejaculation.

2. DOWN TEMPO

This technique requires you to slow the pace of pelvic thrusting and varying the angle and depth of penetration before the “point of no return.” When done in conjunction with engaging your pelvic muscles this approach becomes very effective.

3. PAUSE-START METHOD

If slowing the tempo is not sufficient to prevent the PE, one may need to stop thrusting completely while maintaining penetration in order for the ejaculatory “urgency” to go away. Once the sensation to ejaculate subsides, pelvic thrusting may be resumed. Again, engaging the pelvic muscles once you’ve stopped thrusting helps to greatly reduce the sensation.

4. SQUEEZE TECHNIQUE

Originated by Masters and Johnson, as imminent ejaculation approaches, the penis is withdrawn and the head of the penis is squeezed until the feeling of ejaculation passes, after which intercourse is resumed. Although effective, it requires sexual interruption, is cumbersome and demands a very cooperative partner.

5. TALK TO AN EXPERT

Since premature ejaculation can have psychological origins, talking to a sexual therapist can be an excellent approach. Remember guys, there is nothing wrong with talking about our sexual health – in fact, we should do more of it! 

Stop Using Drugs To Improve Your Sexual Performance- eat these foods


If you want to put some sizzle back into your sex life, food can help you set the mood. There’s nothing better than a romantic, home-cooked dinner, featuring some R-rated foods to help turn up the heat. “There’s a growing body of evidence that some of the vitamins and components in foods can enhance sexual function and sexual experience,” says Jennifer R. Berman, MD, the director of the Berman Women’s Wellness Center, in Beverly Hills, Calif.

Here are some of the food ingredients (and my own favorite recipes) that have been major players in aphrodisiac history and lore, and also have modern-day science to back up their claims.

Try eating more of these foods and see how your sexual drives sky rockets! 

  • Beans.
  • Soy products.
  • Almonds.
  • Walnuts.
  • Oats.
  • Cold-water fish such as salmon and tuna.

7 Things Every Woman Should Know About Their Man

• Actions speak louder than words 

Men cannot read minds and they are not as expressive as most women are. Tell your man what you want and he will try to give you that. Stop expecting him to understand and fulfill your expectations on his own. Tell him what you expect and want. For example if you want him to surprise you with a special date tell him you love it when he surprises you with a date.

Men want to be respected
Men expect respect in public and in private. They excel when they know you trust and admire them. They want respect more than love. If you respect them, they will respect you, and will try to maintain that respect. After all, respect is something that can only be earned. Shaunti Feldhahn, nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, author, and speaker, showed research that shows men would rather withstand loss of loving feelings from their partners than to lose their respect.

• They are insecure

Men are sensitive when it comes to their role in life, whether at work or at home as a father and husband. They are internally secretly vulnerable, which they will rarely admit. A woman should acknowledge her husband’s role which makes him more confident and secure. If you stop giving him affirmation he is likely to seek it somewhere else.

• You don’t need to look perfect
It’s not necessary to always look like an actress or model, men like it simple and natural. If he loves you he is going to love at your worst. You don’t need to change your personality and looks to please him. Be yourself and he will appreciate you and your inner beauty. It is flattering to take time to dress up a little for special dates, so keep doing that, but you don’t need to spend a lot of time to get ready to go to the store.

• Men need space too
Sometimes women become overly solicitous and get too involved so that men feel suffocated. If your guy is asking for some space don’t take it personally, he actually just needs space, it doesn’t have anything to do with you or your relationship. Taking time for yourself to do your own thing is healthy, you should enjoy some alone time too.

• Selective hearing
Studies show men and women usually have different interests when it comes to conversation topics, women often talk about love, relationships, and other people while men find these topics boring, they appreciate ideas and productive topics. If you want a productive conversation discuss topics that interest both of you.

• Love-making is more than physical contact
If you want more frequent love contact from your guy it will boost his confidence and performance in all aspects of life. If you maintain physical and emotional distance he is likely to feel rejected and insecure. Closeness is an important factor in a relationship. The most important thing about love-making is if are compatible, if not, see a therapist.

Watch “FIFA 18 REVEAL TRAILER | FUELED BY RONALDO” on YouTube

Electronic Arts Ports makers of various video games have released the video preview for the FIFA ’18.

 This particular one had Portugal and Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo as the featured player and key icon.

Electronic Arts are working tirelessly to improve the game to satisfy the demands of their fans. 

Enjoy the video and brace yourself when it is released.


FIFA 18 REVEAL TRAILER | FUELED BY RONALDO: http://youtu.be/l1FJfr_spJQ

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